addendum

Oh, my little people. I was just venting a bit. In the midst of my flying fingers was laugher and smiles. I regret that more of you didn’t catch the humor. I think you’re all great, and there hasn’t been any one of you that has offended me. As my mom said to me, I have, written across my forehead, “I’m a nice sap who’ll take anything you have to say to me with a smile on my face.” That’s just something that happens to the non-advice givers (as I’ve heard cheers go out from those few who have similar phrases written across their foreheads.) So go on with your day, knowing that I love you all profoundly. Luckily I also have this supernatural power that allows me to not get offended and stay offended, so if you must, advise away. I’ll keep on smiling and keep on loving.

advice: I'm tired of it

Do I have eyes that plead for instruction? Does my voice quiver with uncertainty? I don’t understand why so many people in my life let me know how I could improve things. I wasn’t under the impression that perfection was actually something that so many had already attained in this life. I don’t know any one person who does the following all at the same time consistently: keep her garden weeded; obey the speed limit; cook all three meals and clean up after every one; keep her children happy, read to, clean and away from the TV; have all her laundry done to perfection (most likely even the expert laundry maven has a bad day and forgets the towels in the washer); be perfectly organized to the likes and impressions of all those who enter her world; have the floor swept and mopped and the high chair cleaned; the plants watered; the chores done; the Sunday lessons planned; Family home evening taken care of; homework attended to; contact lens case bleached, along with the toilets and shower, of course; pool clean and towels in from the clothes line when the rain comes; well read and all the library books returned promptly; general cleanliness and perfection abounding, all the while being completely level headed and calm with no shouting.

Why so much criticism? What if I’m okay with a little chaos? For crying out loud--I can't be the only woman with a refrigerator that needs a good cleaning and keeps putting it off for the perfect day when she won't mind cleaning it quite so much. What if I like the rotting picnic table because it gives me the freedom to use it however I like that day? What if I like my kitchen set-up and the placement of my furniture? I CAN think for myself, thank you. I am all too aware of my weaknesses, so thanks for the acknowledgment of my imperfections, but I’m a little sick of the criticism. How about this—when you notice something about me or my home or my habits that need improvement and you feel the need to share them with me, why don’t you try to think really hard about something that you actually like about me and tell me that instead. That might actually make me feel good about myself.

Uncharacteristic unsolicited advice: don’t spurt out criticisms or advice to those who don’t feign an all-knowing power. Just let us enjoy our quiet peace, and remember we’re not judging you, so please return the favor.