white & black

White: I love winter!
Black: I hate winter!

White: Look at the pretty snow
Black: Enough snow, already



White: the circle of life is beautiful and gives me new insights and wisdom
Black: I saw the beauty and learned the wisdom last month

White: fire, hot chocolate, comfy clothes
Black: 5 extra pounds from sedentary “activities”



White: snow days for the kids
Black: snow days for the kids

White: the stark look of black and white and grey—the absence of color and life is such a huge contrast to how it is the rest of the year. It is beautiful in its own way and makes me appreciate the incredible life that comes in the spring
Black: it’s just so cold!



White: you slide really fast on your sled/bum down the hill
Black: you do the same thing in your car

White: I love winter!
Black: I hate winter!

the cows came home

I am a peace-seeker. I avoid conflict. I don’t like controversy; it makes me squirm. Don’t get me wrong, I stand up for myself if I need to, but most of the time I don’t need to. I usually keep things nice and cozy. But for some reason (maybe it's hormones--who knows) I feel the need to put something that is completely uncharacteristic on my blog. I'll probably regret it as soon as some feisty person wants a debate (which most likely I wouldn't take part in), but here goes...

So Britney's crazy. The poor girl should be crazy in private. Stop buying the magazines with her on the cover--they won't stop printing them if we keep buying them and I want to scream every time I'm in the check out line at the grocery store. Even when I'm watching the news, trying to catch the weather, I hear about her. I'm tired of hearing about the train wreck. I know it's hard, people, but just look away.

And here's something else I'm sick of--Oprah. Blah blah blah. She's like a {false} prophet--what she says goes. That's a little freaky. Sometimes it makes me not want to read the book if I see "Oprah's book club" in the corner even though it's a perfectly good book. It's a little rebellious streak in me. The crappy thing is that if she wanted me on her show tomorrow, I'd go in a second. (But only if it was about my business or something positive. I would never want to be on Oprah talking about how dirty my kitchen sink is or that last night I yelled at my kids.)

Something that drives me nuts is when someone says they are open minded, but what it really means is that they are open minded about what they believe in, not that some people believe in God, and some don't. If you say you are open minded, people, then you have to be open to the fact that organized religion may have validity, not just open to the idea that God may not exist. In fact, even though I'm guilty of it, hypocrisy in general really frustrates me. I am always checking to see if I'm being hypocritical. Just yesterday I caught myself doing it when I reprimanded my daughter for fighting with her sister. She said, "she started it!" I responded, "You fought back and that is just as bad as starting the fight." Then I realized that I had just done that with my dear husband. Pretty humbling. If you want someone to stop judging you, then you shouldn't be judging them about being judgmental in the first place. If you want to be open minded, then you shouldn't be openly derogatory about what someone else believes to be true.

And while I'm at it, I didn’t like Eat, Pray, Love. I was so annoyed with the author the entire time and wanted to shake her and yell, “Snap out of it woman! Pull yourself together!” It makes me crazy that everyone loved it so much and found so much wisdom in her words. While I can say that there were inspiring passages, profound moments, and truths scattered sparingly throughout the book, overall I was very disappointed. Who says that to take care of/find yourself you have to abandon commitment and personal integrity?

Here's a controversial one: I think it’s embarrassing that such a huge majority of people like Hillary or McCain enough for them represent our country. I think it's too hard to run for president--it should be more simple and less expensive. 'Nuff said.

I don’t care what a stupid groundhog says, I want the sun.

That's right. I went there.

whew! I feel better. I may have to delete this later;)

If you need to vent about something, go ahead and get it off your chest. Leave it in the comments - don't be shy. (just don't be mean--there's no excuse for rudeness:)

Self Portrait Challenge {blue}

3 out of 5 have the blues here.

Give Sorrow Words

I love the connections I’ve made here (even though I’m not the most diligent commenter!). I go some places where the writer has a sense of humor and I get a little laugh (and sometimes I find myself with my head thrown back in a riot of laughter). I go to some blogs because they are old friends and I want to keep up and see what’s going on in their lives and with their families. Some blogs inspire me artistically. Some help me plan dinner and inspire me to cook with a good attitude. I go to some blogs for beauty’s sake. Sometimes I go places to read about the trials that women are going through and see how they are pulling through. Some blogs help me in my determination to be a better mother or inspire me to give more in service. Not all of us blog for the same reasons. Thank goodness for that!

I haven’t gone through the trial of infertility, but now I understand it a little better and am more sensitive to it. I have never lived through abuse as a child, yet somehow I understand its effects in a deeper way than I once did. I have never been clinically depressed, although I’ve come close enough, and I take comfort in the fact that it happens to women around the globe and somehow we make it through to the other side. I have never had to live through the grief of losing the love of my life, but I have learned that the process of grief is similar in all its many kinds of losses and I find that when someone is brave enough to write about it, it helps me grow. I love that when I have a question, I can ask it here and I get answers. I love that if I need encouragement, you are always so positive! I have been able to complain about the difficulties of motherhood, as much as we love those little people. I have been able to get feedback professionally and artistically. I have been able to start new hobbies and have new ways of feeling fulfillment. I have been able to vent about ADD and the way it affects me so profoundly. I have been able to share the beauty of life and love.

One thing I haven’t been able to blog about at the request of my parents is what I am going through as a daughter whose parents are going through divorce. I want to be able to—not so I can air “family secrets” or cause embarrassment, but because I am sure that I would get a new kind of support. I would have support from other people who have had to suffer the many effects of the tearing apart of a strong family unit. I would have a better understanding of what its limitations are and which coping methods can be helpful. I would most likely feel an outpouring of love and understanding. Maybe there would be some comfort in knowing that other people have gone through phases of anger and complete love and forgiveness, sometimes in the same exact moment. Sometimes it may be good to have a little comic relief through writing about the drama. Sometimes I think it would do me a great deal of good to write the many lessons I have learned and how I have been strengthened as an individual, as a child of God, as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter. I don’t know why writing helps, but it does. Shakespeare wrote, “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.” I feel the truth of these words now.

Cookie Time

My kids love those cookies from Sam's Club--you know those soft round sugar cookies with the pink frosting? Well, I decided to try to do a home made version. So I found this recipe on line and added some frosting and everyone acted like they had died and gone to heaven. These are better than the Sam's club version because they are so soft and light and have just enough sweetness but not too much. So, I thought I would share.




Old Time Soft Sugar Cookies

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup shortening
1 cup white sugar
1 egg
3/4 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

DIRECTIONS
Cream together the shortening and the sugar. Stir in the egg, buttermilk and vanilla.
Combine the flour, baking soda and salt. Add the flour mixture to the creamed mixture and stir to combine. Chill dough in the refrigerator for 1 hour. Drop mixture by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart on a lightly greased baking sheet. If desired sprinkle tops of cookies with white sugar before baking.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (205 degrees C).
Bake at 400 degrees F (205 degrees C) for 7 to 9 minutes or until set.

Creamy Frosting*

INGREDIENTS
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1 cup (2 sticks) butter
1 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

DIRECTIONS
Combine four and milk in medium sauce pan; stir over low heat until thickened. Cool. Beat butter in large bowl until creamy. Add powdered sugar; beat until fluffy. Blend in vanilla. Add flour mixture; beat until thick and smooth.

*I halved the recipe and added a few drops of red food coloring

Happy Love Day

Our day started out with little bits of love all soaked in sugar. And then it just got better from there. Lots of love to go around here. Here are some pictures of some of the lovey love tokens from our day.













I'm such a lucky girl to have so much love in my life. Hope your day was wonderful!

promise of a bloom

I recently read Helen Keller’s autobiography, The Story of My Life. I have always loved what I have learned about Helen Keller and I have found endless inspiring quotes from her. They are always so simple, inspiring and profound at the same time. Things like, “One can never consent to creep when one has an impulse to soar.” And, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.” I was at the library and happened upon the book and was surprised that it had never occurred to me that I could read a book about her life written in her own words.

She was born seeing and hearing, but when she was almost two, just learning to speak, a horrible fever left her alone in a dark and silent world. I don’t mean to give you a lesson right here on my blog about her, but I just keep going back to that—complete darkness! Complete silence! How do you connect with the world around you? How do you learn to communicate?

Well, just as inspiring as Helen herself, is the amazing woman whose life’s work it was to become Helen’s eyes and ears at the age of six, Elizabeth Sullivan. Theirs is a story of uncanny progression and amazing love. Here is an excerpt from the book:

…Miss Sullivan put her arm gently round me and spelled into my hand, ‘I love Helen.’

“What is love?” I asked.

She drew me closer to her and said, “It is here,” pointing to my heart, whose beats I was conscious of for the first time. Her words puzzled me very much because I did not then understand anything unless I touched it.

I smelt the violets in her hand and asked, half in words, half in signs, a question which meant, “Is love the sweetness of flowers?”

“No,” said my teacher.

Again I thought. The warm sun was shining on us.

“Is this not love?” I asked, pointing in the direction from which the heat came, “Is this not love?”

It seemed to me that there could be nothing more beautiful than the sun, whose warmth makes all things grow. But Miss Sullivan shook her head, and I was greatly puzzled and disappointed. I thought it strange that my teacher could not show me love.

A day or two afterward I was stringing beads of different sizes in symmetrical groups—two large beads, three small ones, and so on. I had made many mistakes, and Miss Sullivan had pointed them out again and again with gentle patience. Finally I noticed a very obvious error in the sequence and for an instant I concentrated my attention on the lesson and tried to think how should have arranged the beads. Miss Sullivan touched my forehead and spelled with decided emphases, “Think.”

In a flash I knew that the word was the name of the process that was going on in my head. This was my first conscious perception of an abstract idea.

For a long time I was still—I was not thinking of the beads in my lap, but trying to find a meaning for “love” in the light of this new idea. The sun had been under a cloud all day, and there had been brief showers; but suddenly the sun broke forth in all its southern splendor.

Again I asked my teacher, “Is this not love?”

“Love is something like the clouds that were in the sky before the sun came out,” she replied. Then in simpler words than these, which at that time I could not have understood, she explained: “You cannot touch the clouds, you know; but you feel the rain and know how glad the flowers and the thirsty earth are to have it after a hot day. You cannot touch love either; but you feel the sweetness that it pours into everything. Without love you would not be happy or want to play.”

The beautiful truth burst upon my mind—I felt that there were invisible lines stretched between my spirit and the spirits of others.

I realize that she didn’t know how to love because she didn’t understand abstract ideas, but I love that when she suddenly grasps the “beautiful truth” of LOVE, she felt herself instantly connect with the spirits of her family and friends where she hadn’t before. It is such a simple thing, but I am so grateful that I am connected! Grateful that I have the opportunity to love. That I get to connect my soul to those I love, whether it is my husband, my child, my friend or my mother. That is such a gift—one that we can accept or reject. The fact is this: that connection is worth everything. That love gives our lives meaning, and it can change us. I have been thinking of so many examples of this in my life and in the lives of people I know and love. Some where we decided to love and it made us better, and some where we did the opposite of love and it destroyed pieces of us and pieces of the people around us. I think it is also a beautiful truth that it is never too late to decide to love, to reconnect, to love ourselves enough to repair those pieces with the healing power that love contains.

“My teacher is so near to me that I scarcely think of myself apart from her. How much of my delight in all things is innate, and how much is due to her influence, I can never tell. I feel that her being is inseparable from my own, and that the footsteps of my life are in hers. All the best of me belongs to her—there is not a talent, or an aspiration or a joy in me that has not been awakened by her loving touch.”

34 things about the birthday girl

1. Brooke is also affectionately known as: Brooga/Bruce/Brookery/Brookie/Booger/Kiwi
2. She loves the Color Code. She always is figuring out what color everyone is. If she has talked to you for 5 minutes, I bet she has you pegged for a color or color- combo. It’s quite astounding and often quite accurate.
3. She is a yellow/red
4. She loves the sun.
5. She’s made for phoenix. Once when I was on the phone with her, her kids wanted her to go swimming and she said, “no, it’s not hot enough yet.” And then she looked at the thermometer and it read 110. “oh, I guess it is hot enough,” she said.
6. She is a talker. She can make conversation with anyone. I’ve always been impressed with this gift. Most of the social skills I have, I learned from my mom and Brooke. There has been many an awkward conversation where I have thought, “I wish Brooke were here—she’d know what to say…”



7. She is perfectly matched in her marriage
8. She believes in personal revelation and uses it daily
9. She is very organized.



10. She is turning into a history buff
11. She had a pink strawberry heart birthday cake for years growing up (I’m not complaining—I loved that cake!)
12. she inspires me
13. Brooke and I have shared the lips of 4 boys
14. she danced competitively for years
15. she is still a beautiful and graceful dancer



16. she rocks the racquetball court
17. she has tiny bone structure and a toned body (lucky hard working girl!)
18. She has the longest eyelashes!
19. She has beautiful blue eyes
20. She is a mother of autism
21. She loves the beach—she can stay there aaaall day. (she takes after my mom that way—I’m more of a 2-to-4-hour-at-a-time beach-goer, but then again, I have that luxury)
22. she drinks a chocolate/banana/peanut butter protein shake every morning
23. she is a really good scout leader
24. When she was maybe 12? her favorite color was bright yellow and she had all matching bright yellow accessories. I still remember her purse perfectly. I was always impressed at her commitment to one single color.
25. she’s a “do-er”—the girl never sits still and it’s amazing what she can get done
26. She is service oriented. Usually when I call, she is just returning or getting ready to take a meal to someone/go visiting teaching/ teach a scout lesson/volunteer in a child’s classroom...
27. she was voted best looking in the yearbook (I can’t remember if it was her freshman year?)
28. she was homecoming queen her sophomore year in HS
29. she had an awesome totally 80’s prom dress that was royal blue with crazy poofy sleeves. She just sent me this picture for kicks:

notice, people of the 80's: The royal blue didn't just stop with the dress, she had gloves and shoes dyed to match AND she wore royal blue eyeliner and mascara...and a side ponytail with an extaordinary example of "the claw."

30. once when I was supposed to find a specific note for a doctor, the lady in the office at the high school gave me a folder to look through and I was astounded at the sight of like 20 forged notes in Brooke’s handwriting. Then I didn’t feel so bad for being labeled “the rebellious one.”
31. she is a butt-rocker at heart
32. She was always the babysitter and often was made responsible for the rest of her younger siblings. As a result she has strong opinions about the oldest sibling always being put in charge.
33. We weren’t allowed to wear make-up until we were in 8th grade and one day (when I was in 7th and she was in 8th) I put on some of my friend’s bright blue eyeliner (it was the 80’s) after PE. When I was walking through the hall not 5 minutes later, suddenly Brooke had me pinned against the lockers. She personally escorted me to the bathroom and watched while I washed it off.
34. she is 34 today