Sunday, December 25, 2005

driving in cars with boys

When I was about thirteen years old, I was seeing this punk rock kid named Kenton. He was, in my mind’s eye, wicked awesome. He was a junior in High School and drove a little silver piece of crap car, (but come on, he DROVE a CAR) and sang in a band, and had a Mohawk, and big ol’ combat boots. Needless to say, my parents couldn’t stand him. He used to drive up to my house and honk the horn until I would come out and we would hang out by the road and chat and flirt. (What, I was 13; I wasn’t allowed to drive in cars with boys, let alone date.) I used to sneak around with him and after school, he would swing by and pick me up and we’d go kiss for an hour or so. Then he’d drop me off down the street from my house and I’d walk the rest of the way home and tell my mom that I caught the late bus home.

One day as I was making the short jaunt home, Mrs. Daugherty, the neighbor down the street (whose son was the drummer in the band), drove by and stopped me. She said, “Brittany, I’m not going to tell your mom that Kenton drops you off down the street, but I want you to think about how she would feel if she found out what you are doing.”

My mind hopped over to the image of my recently bedridden mother, who narrowly escaped death in a near fatal car accident.

Hmmm. This tactic was a good one, Mrs. Daugherty. It made me stop and think about the consequences of my behavior. It made me wonder if I was making good choices. I started to actually look at my behavior and realize that I was not being trustworthy!

Now, in comparison, I will share another experience. The next year, I was seeing another boy. He was a junior and drove this little red convertible Cabriolet that he loved. We had a lot of fun together. He was, I would say, my first legitimate full fledged boyfriend. The first time that my heart was really on the line, if you know what I mean. Well, I wasn’t allowed to drive with boys, still, but of course, this did not stop me. One day, after school, I don’t remember the circumstances, but we went to his house. Apparently from the time I got into his car to the time I got out of his car, some mother (who I’m still resentful toward) saw me and reported this incident directly to my mother who consequently grounded me for a week. When I asked who told her, she refused to tell me, but let me know that mothers have a tight network and they watch out for each other’s children.

Looking back, I can admit that I was in the wrong, and recognize that teenagers can be difficult. I broke the rules. I deserved consequences. But the way it was handled made me so livid. I was so angry that the person who saw me went behind my back; that instead of helping me look at my own behavior, she took all of my independence and learning and choices away. She didn’t give me the respect that I thought I deserved.

Hmmm...Helping me realize for myself that I'm making poor choices VS. making me feel more rebelious and angry and try to figure out how to be more sneaky. I want to be like Mrs. Daugherty. Simple as that.

10 comments:

Tori said...

Funny that I could picture looking out your bedroom window and seeing that little red convertible in the driveway and meeting Skip when I was out there one summer.

I had a mom that approached me rather than my mom and was forever grateful to her. It had more impact on how I behaved than if I had to deal with my parent's reaction. So, I can relate!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I agree. Vicki Crockett was the only adult in my life that ever really made me accountable for my actions. I'll never be able to repay her for that. Just remember, you don't want to be too easy on the kids either. I had a lot of friends' parents who probably enabled my behavior instead of corrected it. But that is Danville for you!

Anonymous said...

Driving in cars and kissing? That's nuttin'.

Abby said...

I'm so concerned now about your mom! Prayers and love to you all!

Unknown said...

you silly goose,Abby. My mommy is fine. That accident was like 15 years ago. :) But thanks for your concern. It's nice to know I have your prayers when I need them.

Abby said...

Yeah, Carrie informed me of my oops--feeling a bit sheepish...but you can keep the prayers.

Anonymous said...

Brittany - Brian Weinert googled Kenton Doyle and your story came up. John recently spoke with Kenton (now married) and showed me the web address. When reading your story, it really brought back memories and you made my day. Thank you for the story and the nice comments. Would love to hear about the rest of your family, but not sure how to get in touch with you.

Mrs. Daugherty

Unknown said...

Hi, Mrs. Daugherty! Wow. That's crazy--I didn't expect to hear from you, but what a nice surprize!

The fam is well, I hope yours is too. you can always email me: brittany@cottageroaddesigns.com

xox
b

Anonymous said...

Brittany Reeve!
First off, I had no idea you were such a scoundrel back in the day...
I thank God for that. When it got to serious, He always let me know.
Second, I have just read Kara's comment to Vicki Crockett. We both sat on the phone and sobbed back and forth for awhile. I thank God for her friendship, too. And for the Jackie Daugherty's of the world, our Jackie Daugherty specifically. I wonder, did she email you back? You should give her the grace of sending her a semi-detailed note and thank her privately...now that you are finished being shocked and alarmed that many in the google world may know a portion of your life's story. It is a good story, darling. Your life is a story of much good. I love you.
ym

Anonymous said...

Hahaha... Brittany... Of course I remember you! I thought I would start at the beginning of your blog. I do that with everyone i know. Hey, did you notice all your boyfriends had wacky cool names?

I think you should force your daughters to date only dudes named "Flip" or "Bucky" or "Flash Johnson". Then they will learn their own life lesson about boys.

Also, on a side note.. Vicki Crockett was a great lady.. her son Ben was a real $%&hole to me for some reason I could never figure out.. I thought I would never remember that family... damn you blogosphere!! :)

Anyhoo,

Glad you dig my album. Did you buy it off iTunes or CD BABY? Just shoot me your address and I will send you a physical copy.

Cheers,

Jahnee Laweed Rawleens

p.s. I am insanely jealous that you live in New England. I just got off my first tour and I have decided that I am going to move back east as well. Most likely to Pennsylvania and do it Amish style.