Tuesday, September 9, 2008

"I'm sorry, Honey, but the tooth fairy has ADD."

tooth loot

#2’s front tooth has just been hanging there. Seriously, it was gross—total snaggletooth. Every time he’d smile, I’d say, “Honey, you’ve got to pull that thing out.” But given that each child has such a different personality, he wouldn’t do what I had grown used to #1 doing—pulling her own teeth. Last time he insisted that I pull his tooth on Sunday at exactly 2:30—get it? Two Thirty/ tooth hurty? It ended up taking like an hour, so the joke didn’t really stick. So last night when I was kissing him goodnight I said, “let me take a look at that tooth.” And I twisted it out as soon as I got my hand in his mouth. He didn’t even know what had happened until he saw me standing there smirking, holding the little problematic thing and waiting for a reaction. “What!? What did you do? Did you pull it out?!?” And all at once everyone was out of bed shouting and jumping and telling tales of the tooth fairy.

The last time #1 pulled a tooth from her own mouth, Jake happened to be out of town. I was doing everything by myself and being pregnant couldn’t take my ADD meds. Unfortunately I didn’t feel very sprightly and playing a fairy that collected teeth for a living kept slipping my mind. The mornings were full of disappointment and talking about what could be holding up the tooth fairy’s progress. Could she be on vacation? Maybe she’s been sick in bed recovering. What could possibly keep the tooth fairy from coming to recover stray teeth from under a pillow? About the fourth morning my sweet daughter came downstairs and announced that the tooth fairy hated her so I took action and called Auntie Jessica (otherwise known as my personal assistant in times of need) and asked her if she would please call me and remind me that night before she went to bed. When Jessica called I got out a pen and paper and wrote a teeny tiny note in the littlest writing I could muster (fairys are small) that explained her absence. (She had indeed been recovering from a sickness that resulted from handling a cavity-ridden nasty tooth that some little boy had left under his pillow and she had forgotten rubber gloves that particular night. She thanked #1 for keeping her teeth so healthy—what a good girl!)

Upon hearing of my neglect, Jake went up and placed a dollar in #2’s tooth pillow, pronto. (This probably gave #1 even more of a complex that the tooth fairy favors #2.) Hopefully Jake will be around when she looses the next one. What? I’m only one person. I can’t do it all. Although being the fairy does sound fun, it’s not always practical after a long day.


Wendy said...

Poor Anna...maybe you should give her double next time then she'll feel extra loved. I love how you wrote a teeny tiny note - very cute

andrea said...

do you know why i love blogging so much? because i have read so many stories about crummy tooth fairy moms. and they all make me feel so much better about my total lack of success in that department.

frankly, my kids and i have just come to an "understanding." they hand me the tooth, i hand them a buck. we both leave satisfied.

(Jen) Domino-n-Crash & Fam. said...

With our older 2 kids, the tooth fairy had a couple of delayed visits...but then the boys wondered why DAD had their teeth in a jar in his dresser. So, all of our kids are fully aware of their Dad's fasination with keeping their teeth, and our family tradition is to sell the tooth to Dad, and leave a note for the tooth fairy letting him/her (hey, it's a Guy in "The Santa Clause" and our kids LOVED that idea... anyway, they leave the tooth fairy a note so they aren't wondering where their precious tooth has gone off too.
Why do I get the feeling our kids future spouses are going to be a tad irritated with us for changing the game for when THEY are the parents.?
All I know - my time when the kids have gone to bed is very needed, and it's easy to be basking in the Quiet and your own desire to get to bed (after the laundry, dishes, sewing, blogging, crafting, etc that we catch up on because the hubbie is gone.) so LOTS of mom's forget that extra roll we were supposed to play. You're kids'll be more forgiving, you couldn't take your ADD meds. I just get to be a slacker :o). he he, they forgive once they've got that dollar.
Love your stories!! Oh, and my teenage son LOVED your book cover and wanted me to tell you - your a VERY talented Mom. :O).

Dallas and Krista said...

I love this- ohhhh real life... it is a killer sometimes!

emma jo said...

I recently came across the tooth fairy's phone number...it's apparently some recording that kids can call and tell her they lost a tooth...I don't know if it works, I have been too scared to call it.

Anonymous said...

It does work. I called it a few years ago. I lost the number. If you still have it can you please email it to me? shnookum@cox.net Thanks in advance.