Tuesday, May 12, 2009

conspiracy {update}

IMG_9060

Just in case you were wondering, I’ve broken through. I packed a big punch.

You know, I’ve always thought it was a little weird how “they” diagnose you with ADD and then just back right off and expect you to just take care of it all by your little dysfunctional self. It’s like saying, “the reason your brain is a little funky is this: ADD. Don’t expect to ever be able to start any projects, large or small. But if you DO miraculously start something, then don’t expect to actually FINISH it. Now, go and figure out how to deal with it.” And then “they” go into a little room and laugh at you. “They” realize that the way society works is basically made by the people who don’t have ADD, because the people who do have it mind their own business. “We” (the ADDers) would be just fine without schedules and deadlines. But the other folks want it and need it and enforce it, and the joke is on us (the ADDers) because there’s no way we’d be able to concentrate on the task long enough to actually break through the system and loosen everyone up a little. Everyone else has such staying power! So, “we” try to fit ourselves in, a square peg in a round circle.

(you can’t imagine the sheer force of will power it took me to complete that paragraph, and I hardly have the stamina left to proof read it to see if it even makes any sense!)

I.

Get ready.

Called.


A psychiatrist.


WAHHHH ha ha ha haaaa! (that’s an evil laugh)

That’s right, I poked a hole in the conspiracy to keep my mind at bay, victim to the distractions of pretty things and making cookie dough as an escape. I was so desperate and overwhelmed that I actually took the time to make several phone calls in order to do this. (That might not sound like a big deal, but it’s like climbing Mount Olympus. Which incidentally I have also done and it was quite lovely and rewarding. Candice and I did it for my birthday one year…AH! See, I got distracted, but I caught it! And I’m not even medicated!!)

Some day in the near future (hopefully) you might find me…say…not only making dinner at the appropriate time and finishing it, but actually having all the ingredients needed. On hand!

Upon telling Jake my plan, he responded with, “Brittany! There’s no possible way that you’re going to walk out of that place without a prescription!” And to that, my reply is: exactly, my love. That’s my big evil plan. To take a little pill. Wahhhh ha ha ha haaaa! (again, the evil laugh)

I’ll show “them!” I’ll show them ALL!


update: so I went in, and sat there on the chair, facing my shrink and she flat out told me no meds while I'm nursing. period. I cried. but onward and upward, my friends.

19 comments:

Jessa said...

You know what? I say good for you. Good for your family. You needn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or upset - or your family. you have a chemical imbalance that leaves you feeling like you do, medicine will fill that imbalance and leave you feeling balanced. If you were diabetic, you would take medicine - this is no different. As you know, medicine takes time to work properly with your body and you have to be patient waiting for it to all work cohesively. And because of this wonderful day and age, there are a lot of different medicines out there, research it with your doc - you will find something that makes you feel like the woman that you are - SPECTACULAR!!
Good luck, my friend! xoxoxo

Amanda said...

Hi- I am an occasional lurker on your blog, but I wanted to thank you for this entry. My daughter was just diagnosed with ADHD and I have often felt that it's too bad that our society is such that she can't really function without medication. It's interesting to read the perspective of an adult with ADD. The medication has been a huge blessing and somewhat challenging at the same time. I hope you get the support you need to figure it all out and start feeling better. Good luck!

the wrath of khandrea said...

and the upside is that if it doesn't work out, those pills go for big dollars on the underground craigslist.

i heart my shrink. you'll heart yours too.

rddnhus said...

NCIS could match those teeth marks to the culprit...

Celia Fae said...

You are going to wonder how you ever lived without it. Better living through chemistry.

Way to take the phone by the handle or the bull by the horns.

Celia Fae said...

One more thing. Men hardly ever get it. The pill thing. Until they've seen the new and improved wife. Then they'll even go to the pharmacy and pick it up for you.

Paige said...

Alright, so pills work wonders and I believe. But for the ADD (or ADHD in this house) the pill isn't working so well. Still looking for one that works for the devil child who is super creative, but a nightmare. So tell me which works to help learn math and reading and it will help me!

emma jo said...

I fully support all mental health care professionals, marriage counseling and all attention to our well being in general. I think we could all benefit from all of that, really. Good job. I want cookie dough.

beth said...

omg....I just wrote about this exact same thing on my blog today !!!

BUT....having seen what the medication did to my son~which is why we decided to take him off it, not the doctors~I can't imagine taking the medication myself.

there are other methods out there to use...seeing my acupuncturist is a cure for pretty much anything that my body and mind throw at me....I love her !

A-Kap said...

Since I just finished wolfing down almost an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies and have not been able to get a thing done this week...maybe I should see that doctor too?? Heck...I need all the help I can get, that's for sure......

Dallas and Krista said...

Good for you. Even though I was frightened by the slightly psycotic (spelling on that?) laughing, I think that there is no harm in taking that little pill. I got tested for ADD in high school and I don't have it- but there is absolutely something wrong with me- so at least you have a name to blame it on :)

Moxie said...

Britt - I'm glad you're seeing a shrink and not a family doctor about this but have you seen a wellness doctor yet? I googled "dangers of ADD medications" and came up with a whole host of sites. ADD medications are dangerous for the body, while helping the brain. I've read that there are many things you can do to help control the symptoms (the first one being to get off the white devil - refined sugar!!!). Anyway, just think about it. Everything I've read says that the medications should only be used short term because of the side effects on the cardiovascular and other systems of the body. So, if you're only going to take it for a while anyway, why not research some other methods you could take long term or other changes you could make in your lifestyle that might help??? Maybe you already have.

You know how I love to dish advice - hope you don't mind. Love you!


Candice

Kara said...

I'm totally confused my this whole entry. What are you doing? What medication are you taking? Who are you sticking it to? I'd love to support you if I knew what the heck you were talking about. Am I just furthering your point by being a "they" that makes you feel like you need to be doing anything other than what you're doing? I thought you've been doing good, No?

I think it's hilarious that Candice calls sugar the 'white devil'.LOL.

Mama Coons said...

Brittany, Give yourself a break. You are a "perfect" mother of FIVE children! TWO are new. Relax and enjoy the days, they will go by too fast. You don't have to accomplish anything at this time except feeding FIVE children and a husband. There are seasons, when you are this busy, its called fatigue. Go with it, take a nap. You are not a machine that need to march to the worlds drum. Love you.

mindy said...

as the mom of a son with adhd, i tell you the little pill works wonders. i resisted for so long (what seems like so long, as my son is only 6) but as soon as i saw it as a quality of ife thing, i was sold. without the medicine, his daily quality of life was crap...and i saw the long term affects of THAT far outweighing the possible longterm effects of medication that would give him some peace and happiness every day NOW. it is a slippery slope, and who your dr. is makes a big difference. trust in yourself tough first and foremost, listen to your heart as well as your head...sounds like your are on the right track. and nothing is forever. you can always change your mind. i think making cookie dough counts as therapy too :) xo

Donna said...

Sounds just like me....so, that's what they call it.

Way to go.....

Jeanneoli said...

That dough is awesome! That is something I would do;-) I hope you get some answers about the ADD and not a prescription....love the evil laugh:-) Do you do that walking through the grocery store too??

jenica said...

i heart you, through and through. and i believe you follow the spirit and will always do what's best for your family. good on ya!

xoxo

Carrie Ann said...

i love you medicated or otherwise. i love YOU!