conspiracy {update}

Just in case you were wondering, I’ve broken through. I packed a big punch.

You know, I’ve always thought it was a little weird how “they” diagnose you with ADD and then just back right off and expect you to just take care of it all by your little dysfunctional self. It’s like saying, “the reason your brain is a little funky is this: ADD. Don’t expect to ever be able to start any projects, large or small. But if you DO miraculously start something, then don’t expect to actually FINISH it. Now, go and figure out how to deal with it.” And then “they” go into a little room and laugh at you. “They” realize that the way society works is basically made by the people who don’t have ADD, because the people who do have it mind their own business. “We” (the ADDers) would be just fine without schedules and deadlines. But the other folks want it and need it and enforce it, and the joke is on us (the ADDers) because there’s no way we’d be able to concentrate on the task long enough to actually break through the system and loosen everyone up a little. Everyone else has such staying power! So, “we” try to fit ourselves in, a square peg in a round circle.

(you can’t imagine the sheer force of will power it took me to complete that paragraph, and I hardly have the stamina left to proof read it to see if it even makes any sense!)

I.

Get ready.

Called.


A psychiatrist.


WAHHHH ha ha ha haaaa! (that’s an evil laugh)

That’s right, I poked a hole in the conspiracy to keep my mind at bay, victim to the distractions of pretty things and making cookie dough as an escape. I was so desperate and overwhelmed that I actually took the time to make several phone calls in order to do this. (That might not sound like a big deal, but it’s like climbing Mount Olympus. Which incidentally I have also done and it was quite lovely and rewarding. Candice and I did it for my birthday one year…AH! See, I got distracted, but I caught it! And I’m not even medicated!!)

Some day in the near future (hopefully) you might find me…say…not only making dinner at the appropriate time and finishing it, but actually having all the ingredients needed. On hand!

Upon telling Jake my plan, he responded with, “Brittany! There’s no possible way that you’re going to walk out of that place without a prescription!” And to that, my reply is: exactly, my love. That’s my big evil plan. To take a little pill. Wahhhh ha ha ha haaaa! (again, the evil laugh)

I’ll show “them!” I’ll show them ALL!


update: so I went in, and sat there on the chair, facing my shrink and she flat out told me no meds while I'm nursing. period. I cried. but onward and upward, my friends.