Behind me I heard little voices: "I love you, Princess." "I love you, too, Ladybug." So I stopped what I was doing to take a picture.
She loved her play dough snow man. She put a little face on it with a marker and then when I told her to show it to me so I could take a picture, she said, "No, I want to look at it like this." And then she just sat there. So I clarified, "You want me to take a picture of you looking at your snowman?" "Yep." So I did.
Her little tree. She's very proud. My favorite part is the clown nose that is being used as an ornament.
His retired work clothes.
Disguised for an activity at the mall. This cracks me up every time I look at it;)
She can peel a clementine in one long stringy thing.
This is my oldest daughter's: a vintage compact. She found it at an antique store a while back and loves that it has a secret compartment. I hid a secret love note in it. Someday she will find it right when she needs it, I am sure. (Because Father blesses us like that--little stuff right when we need it.)
Jake brought home this big tupperware that held cookies in it from work. This little munchkin fell in love with it. After hanging out with him all day, she said on the way to bed, "Mommy, I want to sleep with my cookie. I love that cookie."
Home made play dough.
Through the windshield.
Merry Christmas, friends! And happy all the other stuff that's going on, too.
Tonight is the chorus/band concert at the elementary school. And I have been to 14 (FOURteen) of these hot and crowded events in the past 7 years. (Because I love my kids, silly.)
But tonight is the first one that I will attend while my child will be playing in the band. (The squeaky and adorable elementary school band.) That’s right; my son took up the trumpet. And I am impressed.
I am even more impressed that by 7AM this morning he had showered, dressed, *done his HAIR,*(<--he never does that!) and was wearing his coat and school bag and had already kissed daddy goodbye. He was 45 minutes early.
Well, I’m off to the post office. I need to make sure that I’m on time for the chorus/band concert and I have a feeling the lines are going to be loooooooooooooooooong with people holding all their last minute parcels. I have 7 hours. (Do you think a stroller will efficiently hold 2.5 year old twins in line while I have my arms loaded to the hilt? Hm. Thought not.)
I am not what surrounds me. I am not happy because of you. I am not happy because of things. I am not my temper or my temperance. I am not the maker of a clean house or a messy room. I am not defined by the worst year of my life. I am not a failure. As long as I have another day, another hour, I can begin again.
I don’t have to be ashamed of my waffling back and forth; it is a human thing. We all get tired. We all get worn out. So instead of feeling apologetic for being tired, I will just lay down my weary self until I can stand tall again. Until I can take a breath and feel its renewing power inject heaven into every cell of my human form. Until I can open my eyes and see beauty again.
Because when I think about it, beauty is still surrounding me every day. It’s just harder to recognize when I am burdened.
The other day I felt like myself for the first time in months. It was like a veil had been lifted from my face and I could see myself clearly again. I remembered that I am whole. I am divine. I am a goddess in the making. I am beautiful. I am loved. I am important.
It made me cry.
Who have I been?
Where have I been?
I’m not even sure, but all I know is that I’ve been sick. And it gets really old. And I hate hearing about how old it’s getting from people who I love and depend on. And I have to stumble my way through life, feeling contrite at my shortcomings, feeling crestfallen that I am not doing, volunteering, raising my hand, standing on a soapbox, shouting to the world about love and beauty.
Well, now I remember what it feels like to be me. I’m not very far buried any more. I see that none of it is my fault. None of this characterizes me; I won’t let it define me. I will use it as an education.
I may have rested enough that I can stand up, take a breath and shake the devil off my back!
And now I wonder how many of you are like me? How many souls are out there wandering around with veiled faces, feeling regretful and disconcerted? Feeling hopeless and helpless?
There are answers hidden all around us.
Here is my anthem of the day:
Shake It Out by Florence + the Machine
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
I like to keep my issues strong
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah
I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn
You never know what I might be in the mood to post. Maybe it will be about motherhood. It could be something about my love for all things creative. Maybe I'll post a recipe for dinner. (But more than likely it will be dessert.) It could be a memory. I may be in the mood to share about my faith. I can't commit with my ADDish brain running fast and on the loose. So when you come here, you'll find WHATEVER I'm in the mood for & photos of STUFF I see along the way.
I took these pictures. I made this stuff with my own two hands. I wrote these words. It's just a bunch of craziness, but it's what in this noggin. If you're going to use any of my stuff for your own stuff, just ask me. (I'm sure I'll say yes. I'm nice like that.) And a little linkie love never hurt anyone if you know what I'm sayin;)
