Sunday, April 2, 2006

Sticky Situation

It had been a long day, and the kids were finally in bed. I had gotten particularly comfortable on the couch and had started reading my book. When I read a book, I can’t put it down. I don’t want to move, I just want to focus completely and soak in the words without interruption. (This sometimes gets me in trouble with my family as a consequence of my neglect toward their well being and hunger) Well, soaking it in, I was, except there was one thing annoying me. For some reason I had a sticky spot on my finger. I took a quick glance up and there was an old glass of water on the side table. Perfect—the lazy man’s way, but perfect just the same. I stuck my little finger into the water and washed the stickies off with that. I didn’t even have to get up! I hardly had to move at all! A few pages later, I realized that my finger was just as sticky, so without even looking up, my finger went back into the water, a little deeper this time just to make sure. Well, for some reason my tactic wasn’t working. After several times of the lazy man’s way, I ended up with more and more of my hand in the glass, making sure to soak it more thoroughly as to fix my little problem. Finally, when I couldn’t take it any more, I heaved a great sigh of annoyance and got up from my little haven and went to wash my hands properly with soap and water. I sat down, satisfied that all annoyances were gone, and dove back into my book.

A few minutes later, Jake came into the room and says, “Hey, did you drink some of my ginger ale?” “No,” I reply without glancing up from my book, and before I know it, he grabs the glass of “water” that I was using as my mini hand washing station and gulps the whole thing down!

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him until weeks later, when he had obviously not been stricken with some horrible disease.

What about you, my fine friends—any sticky situations that you’re willing to share?


Anonymous said...

Brittany - I am the STICKY SITUATION QUEEN. You got nuttin' on me. You're gonna' have to do better than that. There's the time I asked a lady in my ward when she was due and she had just had a baby three months earlier. The lady next to her says, "DID YOU JUST ASK HER WHEN SHE WAS DUE????" really really loud and everything stops and everyone looks around at me. Then there's the time in Relief Society where we're talking about heros from the Bible. At the beginning of the lesson I raise my hand high and demand that we discuss women and not only men. Then she dives into the lesson which is about women heros of the Bible. I felt like a complete idiot. Of course there's the time I had a dinner party and was making pasta. I go to put in the pasta sauce and it has mold all over the inside of the jar. I didn't have any other sauce and everyone was showing up any minute so I used it anyway!! True story. No one got sick but Steve was really mad. Then there's the time I used 1 cup of salt in my split pea and ham soup instead of 1 tablespoon and served it up to friends. Yum yum it was disgusting. Of course the best one is the time I used Desitin instead of KY Jelly which made for a really interesting night. It was all over the place. No rash though! Face it, I got you beat. All y'all.

Abby said...

I think my last blog sums up a pretty good one for me. How about the time I went into to false labor because everyone said that you-know-what is suppose to induce labor. After a few hours of Demoral, the nurse asked me if I had been doing anything unusually strenuous...she even asked point blank if we had done the deed that day and I felt like a dirty naughty child who got caught and I nodded my head, ashamed. That's not really that sticky though...just awkward.

emma jo said...

We had a ward social one night in the basement of the apartment complex that we lived near. My hands were sticky from eating watermelon and can you believe it--there were no bathrooms so I went into the laundry room and quickly rinsed my hands in someone's rinse cycle...but I'm not really a bad person, am I?

kara said...

Ha ha. Wait...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I can't breath. That's so funny, I can just picture it perfectly. I would have started laughing so hard, how did you hold it in. ha ha ha. I just thought of it again and it was even more funny the second time. Good stuff.

brittany said...

I know! I was dying too. I actually did crack up, and he was like, "what?" and I just shook my head. It still cracks me up every time I think of it...see? I'm laughing again.

LC: Those are some doozies!

Abby: I cracked up about Sunny on your blog--if anyone hasn't read it, you should click on Abby's name and read "Sunny, isn't it?"

EJ: I've never thought of a rinse cycle. very inventive. If that makes you a bad person, then we're all doomed!

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