Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thoughts after a recent conversation with someone I LOVE

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How come some of us get easy as pie kids and some of us…not so much? I mean, seriously. They come a certain way, if you have children there is no denying that fact. So how come there are only some of us that can give the advice on babies that cry for four hours at a time, and others have babies that are “perfect?” It was horrific and exuberant when I became a mother. On the one hand, I felt such astounding love and affection; on the other I felt completely overwhelmed and exhausted and stressed and depressed. I thought it would come more naturally, but how could it come naturally to comfort a baby for hours on end when she’s screaming for no apparent reason?

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Now, I look back years later and I can see my strength. I can see that I am a better mother than I would have been. I can do anything. I can run rings around the “perfect” babies, and have—I’ve had one. (And let me tell you, they don’t stay perfect forever, just in case you were wondering.) But seriously, is it necessary? It makes you question so much: Am I a really bad mother? Do I need this trial because of something I have done, or because I am a certain way? Am I a bad person for feeling resentment toward my baby and toward other moms who have no idea what it is like to go through something like this?

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I guess it’s like any trial. It doesn’t really make sense, but it can make you stronger. Things turn out all right, and you end up just fine and love, love, love your children. (But it can also limit the amount of children you are willing to have!)

3 comments:

Lucky Candice said...

I could really REALLY use a good baby this time so that's what I'm prayin' for (fo'shiggidy my weeble!).

When Ems says, "life isn't fair" I just look at her (rather knowingly) and say, "you're right - it sure isn't."

Love ya!

LC

travelin jamie said...

I hope it wasn't our conversation! Well, I know we all have our trials in life. Everyone's trials just happen to be different. And trust me it is our trials that make us stronger! I may have easy kids, but a much more difficult other things (that I won't go into now!)
You are an amazing mother! You are an amazing woman! I have a lot of respect for you. I know that I don't have the patience or the understanding that you have. I know that I don't have a lot of your strengths. But my trials have made me grow strong in other ways!
But how could I be a working mom with two crazy boys? I couldn't take them with me to travel.
I think God knows what we all need. And what we all need to go through!
I love you and your mothering skills!

brittany said...

Sweet Jamie, have no fear. I was giving my sister, who is a new mommy, some advice on how to cope with her sweet little man who won't stop crying or start sleeping. I was sooo sad for her, because I wouldn't wish that on anyone, and it brought me back to the beginning...and made me sick to my stomache. It's true, though, God knows what we need. Sometimes it's hard to remember that in the moment, though, and hard to figure out what you need to figure out in order for trials to pass. I'm so tired, I don't know if that made any sense...