Tuesday, June 15, 2010


On Sunday I only made it through about five minutes at church when I had to take the loud and flailing babies out into the foyer. One sat beside me on the couch looking at books and the little trouble maker was on my lap, legs straddled around my waist. I held her tight as she tried to wiggle free. I put a little stuffed kitten on the top of my head and looked at her with big eyes. “Where’s the kitty!?” I asked with a gasp. “Meow.”

She stopped wiggling and struggling and I dropped my chin a little and the kitty came sliding off my head into her lap. She giggled and the kitty went on top of her head this time. “Meow,” she said.

Yesterday I laid her down on our family room rug to change a stinky yucky poopy diaper and in the middle of our business I felt a whisper of a wiggle on the top of my head and suddenly a huge gigantic spiderish beetle-y thing fell off of my head onto the baby!

I screamed and quickly swiped the spider off her exposed belly (with what may or may not have been a poop smeared wipey) and it flew through the air and landed on her sister who was standing next to us. I screamed again looking at this huge spider sticking to my baby’s dress and crawling across her belly and instinctively batted at the thing aiming to kill while not hurting the child. The nasty thing disappeared. Gone. What? Where did it go?!? And as I took a quick inventory of the situation I saw two babies staring at me with wide eyes, not breathing, not moving, and I struggled to stay calm. If I stood up, the poopy bottom would go running off, and that’s never a good thing. I had to soften my face and I said in a smooth animated voice, “Where did that nasty thing go?” The little faces looked relieved as I sat there and searched for a creepy crawly under all the diapers that Little Honey had strewn over the floor. Nothing.

After the business was finished I searched again with little involuntary shudders, but I never found that nasty thing.

For the rest of the day any time I felt a tickle I would jump and check. No nasty thing.

My six year old comes to me several times a day and twirls slowly in a circle while she asks, “Are there any bugs on me?” and I roll my eyes to myself and half heartedly check her out. Now that doesn’t seem like such a strange thing to do. I found myself spinning for my children, “Are there any bugs on me?”

I saw that little kitten and put it on my head, but it reminded me of that nasty thing falling off my head.



Emma Jo said...

Ew for bugs on people. tisk tisk for naughty babies at church but hooray for lovely mothers that keep things calm and happy, even when poop is involved.

Abby said...

Oh...there are huge spiders in that Heavenly place you live? Dang it! I could bring you a scorpion if you want rid of them...Do there HAVE to be bugs in this life? I mean, come on!It's hard enough, and then it's so degrating to be so terrified by something so much smaller than myself. I'm sorry it was on you and your babies, and way to keep calm...and I really hope you find it dead soon.

Jessica S. said...

UGHH! This made me involuntarily squirm and have to check my own surroundings. ICK! Congrats on keeping your cool. You have my admiration.