I once was blind but now I see

I was trying to be like my friend Jolie and knit without looking. It worked! And as I was knitting without my eyes, my brain took me way back to when I worked at a bakery in SLC, Utah. I was rushing and there had been a long line non-stop and I was most likely acting like a robot because when the next man in line said, “I’d like a loaf of Honey Whole Wheat, please” I simply said, “It’s right on the shelf behind you.” I can’t remember what exactly happened next. Maybe I gave him further instructions, like say, “You know, half way down the shelf...right there…” Or maybe he asked me to get it for him and I heaved a heavy sigh. I can’t remember what exactly it was that led the people behind him in line to spell it out for me. “He can’t see.” They spoke slowly and clearly. It was like a slap in the face. I actually looked at the man standing in front of me and saw that, indeed, he was blind. I apologized profusely and scrambled around to get the loaf of bread. Then I folded all the bills in his change as he directed so he would recognize what they were when he pulled out his wallet at the next store…where the next person to serve him would have no problem noticing the details that add up to: blind man—help accordingly.




I’m sure I still don’t SEE a lot that is right in front of me. But I have recognized a lot of good, happy-making things this month that I am grateful for…

To Do Today:

-laundry

-be thankful

-get groceries

-be thankful



-make something yummy for relief society dinner tonight

-be thankful

-sort through all my piles

-be thankful


-blog so that Jake doesn't tease me about the title of my last post again tonight

-be thankful

-jump on the trampoline

-be thankful



-keep ignoring most of the stuff on my to do list

-be thankful

-love on little people

-be thankful

Take THAT, you no-good, filthy suckers!

Just so you know: I have waged a full scale, all out WAR. I have been invaded by aliens who got all comfortable in their host body. I thought I got them the first time around, what with all those antibiotics, but Lyme cells are sneaky little suckers. But those smart little morphing cells are microscopic fools if they think I’d just roll over and let them hang around in this here body without a fight.

The research I do makes me sick to my stomach. So don’t worry about this being an educational post all about the evils of said Lyme and the conspiracy theories of the people keeping us all in the dark about it. I just wanted to let you know what I’m up to over here.

Because you can’t really tell from the outside. My weapons are invisible to the naked eye. So if you suddenly remember that your friend Brittany is creating a famine and bearing a sword and shield all on the inside, you might want to cheer me on. (You know, like, “Go Britt! You are so awesome!”) (Because sometimes I feel strong and then other times, not so much.)

You know how awesome? So awesome that I haven’t eaten a single piece of Halloween candy. No, my friends. Nary a grain of sugar. (Except for that one day when that beautiful temptress came bearing gifts that had combinations of sweet and bitter (oh, that chocolate frosting!), moist and delectable, homemade and seasonal (apples and caramel in the divine form of baked deliciousness!). Celestial, if I may.) No, not even a bit of fruit. No, not any white flour to speak of and any whole grains sparingly and balanced with lots of protein and fat. Did I mention that my alien enemies feed on sugar? That’s right: FAMINE

A couple of my unusual yet effective strategies that include herbal and food supplements, and knocking those ugly buggers out of their little fortifications (AKA: mama’s joins (read: all that neck/back/shoulder pain)) by running and jumping. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve now. Like resting when I need to so that my body can fight. I could tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.

So wish me luck. I’ve got to tell you that I feel really good already. (You know, besides the fatigue and the constant severe pain.) I hate to admit it, because I find great joy in baking and consuming delicious sugary treats. But onward to battle I go!



Okay, but first I just have to lay down and rest a spell.


BTW: if any of you locals are interested in the most wonderful doctor, I highly recommend Dr. Dan’s Natural Healing Center in Newburyport.  Tell him I referred you and you’ll get a discount on your services;)

time out

Me: Oh, no. Is your baby in time out?


Her (2.5 years old): Yep.



Me: What did she do?



Her: She bit her sister

I woke up today and realized that it is November!

I love November. Not only is it my birth month (let’s hear it for the Scorpios!), but it is the month that reminds me again and again to focus on my blessings. To celebrate the good and be thankful for it.





It is a month that feels like winding down. And if there’s anything I need right now, it is a winding down. I’m on a search for stillness.



Isn’t it funny how we search for the things that are missing from our lives at that moment? At other times in my life I would never have been on a search for stillness. But here I am, seeking peace in a big way.



It’s the great balancing act.



So while I have been guilty of having a bit of a downer attitude about the big snow storm that left us wanting for power and Halloween, I woke up today realizing that there was another side to it. Last night, in the stillness of candlelight, we happily ate our pumpkin pancakes and danced to softly playing classical music. I realized that I was grateful for the forced quiet. For the snow day that allowed us to catch up and enjoy each other. For the generator that kept us with running water and a way to cook food and stay warm. I was grateful (for the millionth time) for my genius of a husband who takes care of us continually.



And even though I wish I were here on my blog more often and acting on all of my creative impulses, I am thankful for the two whipper-snappers who make it impossible. And I am thankful for the understanding that the day will come that I will have more time to dedicate to that and when that day is here, I will feel grateful for the time I spent with my children, struggling for balance. Because surely they give to me and I give to them and after all is said and done, I will have learned stuff that I couldn’t have learned any other way.