When I was in third grade, I had a crush on Craig. (I was tempted for a moment to put his last name, but I’ve learned my lesson.) I used to stare at him with dreamy eyes and take in his blonde hair and clear blue eyes. When our pictures arrived from picture day, we made an exchange, and he gave me one of the large ones. I knew I had him then. When I say I “had him” I mean to say that he had a crush on me, too, for in third grade I didn’t communicate well, and there was no smooching to be had. So dreamy stares and silly giggles were what consumed me.
Then one day I heard that Craig held Courtney’s hand. My crushy world was shattered. Luckily for me, there was Whitney Houston on the radio singing “All At Once.” I still can remember how those lyrics touched my 8 year old heart.
All at once
I looked around and found that you were with another love
In someone else's arms,
And all my dreams were shattered, all at once
All at once
The smile that used to greet me brightened someone else's day
She took your smile away
And left me with just memories, all at once
Oh, Whitney, how you helped me through the hard times. I’ll always be grateful for your depth and wisdom. My tears were shed in the company of your vibrato. My mourning was made complete through your melody. My heart healed while your mouth formed the words of my soul.
I would go on to have crush after never ending crush. I was a professional crusher. I had multiple crushes going on at all times. It sometimes was hard to keep track. There were the celebrity boys, but they were separate from the real boys, and let me tell you, real boys were everywhere. I remember one night coming home from bungee jumping and practically freezing to death, I held the hands of two friends under a blanket in the back seat of a car, unbeknownst to either of them…until the next day—I’m sure, when they were telling each other how they each had stolen kisses with me. Luckily I don’t have to keep track any more. I like love better than loving a crush.
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476 Veiled in the Minor Key
51 minutes ago