Wednesday, January 27, 2010

what day is it today?

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So my babies turned one on Friday. (what?)

Things didn’t go how I imagined them.

I had thoughts of joy and deliciousness floating around in my head. Celebrations of life, overflowing with abundant love and thankfulness.

Something like that.

What day is it today?

Well, last Thursday, the school nurse called and sent home the first kid down. (This is one drawback to having a large family: there are more people who can get sick.)

happy birthday

Friday: messes and fevers instead of joy and deliciousness.

One! Can you believe it? It’s been one of the most crazy and amazing years of my life! Twins, and I didn’t even die! I came home from the hospital and although I was practically dead, somehow I recovered. Mostly. I think. And then I was like a deer in the headlights, just staring at the light and love. Totally overwhelmed by it. These darlings!! My whole family has grown in love in such an immense way. And these darlings just keep making my heart ache with love when they look at me with their beautiful faces and smile at me with their innocent selves.

All these thoughts were floating through my head and I wanted to acknowledge it in a big way, and instead everyone hated the dinner I made and the cupcakes were over baked and dry. Which really didn’t matter anyway because by the time we got around to singing “happy birthday” the babies didn’t want anything but their cribs.

And the dry cup cakes just sat there and no one wanted them. Such a sad, sad fate for a cup cake.

“Mommy, we didn’t even wrap presents for the babies!”

Whatever.

I have been holding feverish babies for…what day is it today? And my whole body has been tired and exhausted and stressed and pushed to it’s limit (but really, I know what its limits are for reals and this wasn’t even close. It just made me cry a lot while no one was looking.).

But there they are upstairs, sleeping. And I love them. My life is better with them here. I am affected forever. I am changed. I know myself better. I know that so much more is possible than we think, if we just push ourselves a little harder and do it because it’s the right thing to do. (that makes sense to me even if it doesn’t to anyone else. I have one year old twins, so I can say stuff that doesn’t make sense, you know.)

Okay, now I’m off to do some pilates before the little darlings wake up.

One year! And I still have 20 pounds to go. No more excuses, right? That’s all everyone gave me—one year.

“Give yourself a year.”

Pew! (<-- that was the sound of how fast one year just flew by.)

13 comments:

Mikael@starter home to dream home said...

Congratulations!!! I remember how much I cried when I made it my boys 1 year birthday. I cried and cried. Because I made it. It was hard. I did it. And I loved them even more than before they came, even with all the hardships.
You did it girlfriend! I lost all my weight when they were a year.. but now I packed on about 5 lbs again... so back on my diet :) give yourself some wiggle room, YOU GOT TWINS!

Catherine said...

Love your blog! Just gotta say that it takes whatever time it takes to lose it. From my experience, I was just finding my sea legs that first year but everyone's different and these were my 1st babies...my girls are almost 4! Yikes, when did that happen?
Love your artwork too... any chance you have the "waiting for the big one" original?
Take good care,
Catherine

brittany said...

Thanks, Catherine. Waiting For the Big Wave is sold. twice. But if you really want one just let me know and I can paint another one that is similar...

xo

christhadasister said...

Happy Birthday to your girls and congratulations for surviving the first year-definitely a challenge with twins!! My boys were sick for their first birthday too but only because they had their one year check up the day before their party and the 5 shots they got gave them fevers! My bad. Anyway, I look forward to reading about your girls (and of course your big kids, too) and what their 2nd year brings!

Trinity (of haiku tofu) said...

I can't believe it's been a year. I remember reading your blog when you were still waiting for them to arrive! Crazy.

Good for you for doing pilates. I've been working out more this winter, too. Need to get rid of my bowl full of jelly leftover from Christmas.

A-Kap said...

I'm actually more worried about those around me surviving my sleep-deprived irritable, impatient, mean self than me surviving.... I know I will survive, I just don't know if I will have any friends and family who still want to be around me a year from now!!!! You sure did a GREAT job this past year -- and you look absolutely fabulous!! I think you look way better than you feel. Remember, the more slowly you take the weight off, the more likely it is to stay off!!

calibosmom said...

Happy Birthday to the little peeps.

Emm Laurence said...

yumm! all of those baked goods look sooo yummy!

check out my blog?
www.emmjustlovely.blogspot.com

jenica said...

happy births day, mama. i remember last year feeling my heart break and swell as you and nina had your babies and i couldn't be there to wash your dishes and bring you food! the beauty of first birthdays is that they don't care what day you celebrate. ;-D and what you're creating in your home is joy and deliciousness.
"such a sad, sad fate for a cupcake" i love you, girl!
xoxo

Lucky Candice said...

A year, wow. U ROCK!

Jessica S. said...

I believe with how you carry those two around, you now have stronger muscles (all over)... and you know what they say about how much muscles weigh.

Catherine said...

Oooh, I'm intrigued! So very cool. Of course it was sold twice! Go to your website and contact you, I'm guessing, is the first step?
Yummy pie, btw. Fwiw, I have skipped the lasagne making for the last 2 days - perhaps I should try pie. Much better!
Cheers,
Catherine

brittany said...

Catherine, yes! Just shoot me an email brittany [at] cottageroaddesigns.com and we'll discuss the deets.

xox
B