Monday, June 9, 2008

the air is so thick today

I feel like I’m walking around in a dream. I’m a shadow of myself. I will be doing something and suddenly start with the realization that I have forgotten something terribly important. My stomach has been in knots. The weather has put me into a weird funk. It’s incredibly muggy and oppressive and as I drive out of the driveway, I catch a glimpse of my garden and realize that I have forgotten to appreciate that the peonies have popped. My mind gets sucked back into the book I’ve been reading and it’s as if I am the main character instead of myself and my realities keep getting confused. I take a phone call and can hardly form a cohesive sentence; I feel embarrassed because I know I must sound strange, but I’m having a hard time hiding that I feel like I’ve lost my mind a little bit.

Then the children pull me back, and I feel for a few moments that the balance is restored. We take turns adding ingredients and soon they’re off with their spoonfuls of cookie dough and I’m lost to myself again. Dizzy as though my true north has shifted its position far off somewhere in the universe.

7 comments:

andrea said...

i hope it's just part of a passing life funk. we all have them, if it makes you feel any better. sometimes i wonder where the sharp-thinking, organized, competent woman i used to be has disappeared to. i'm impressed that you're baking cookies mid-funk.

Dini said...

I say it's the weather. I'm just south of Boston and it is SO HOT here and SO HUMID. Yuck! They say relief will be here soon so hang in there!!!

emma jo said...

I feel caught in that same "fog" quite often these days...and I keep seeing in my mind that picture of your kids running up to the beach with towels and boogy boards and it makes me feel all relaxed and happy.

Moxie said...

Welcome friend, welcome. Yes this is how I live much of the time. Now you know.

Moxie

calibosmom said...

Just make your way over to Ladyslipper Drive-at least you'll be cool and I'll just nod politely when I hear your gibberish.

Kara said...

Hmmm, I need to read what you're reading. I wish I could be taken away in a fog right about now! Sometimes I'm too hyper aware for my own good.

Dallas & Krista said...

That totally happens to me when I read books- sorry, it is weird for sure. A very uneasy feeling...