the air is so thick today

I feel like I’m walking around in a dream. I’m a shadow of myself. I will be doing something and suddenly start with the realization that I have forgotten something terribly important. My stomach has been in knots. The weather has put me into a weird funk. It’s incredibly muggy and oppressive and as I drive out of the driveway, I catch a glimpse of my garden and realize that I have forgotten to appreciate that the peonies have popped. My mind gets sucked back into the book I’ve been reading and it’s as if I am the main character instead of myself and my realities keep getting confused. I take a phone call and can hardly form a cohesive sentence; I feel embarrassed because I know I must sound strange, but I’m having a hard time hiding that I feel like I’ve lost my mind a little bit.

Then the children pull me back, and I feel for a few moments that the balance is restored. We take turns adding ingredients and soon they’re off with their spoonfuls of cookie dough and I’m lost to myself again. Dizzy as though my true north has shifted its position far off somewhere in the universe.