moon photos

Remember way back on March 19th when there was a full moon?  Well I had heard that it was closer than it had been in a long time and that it would appear 14% larger and 30% brighter than a normal full moon.  So I got out my tripod and decided to try taking pictures of it.

The only problem was that it was really cloudy.  So while there was nothing to take pictures of, I took the picture above, trying to get some of my settings right for night-time shots.  (That's looking in my window;)

The settings for night photography are so different than what I'm used to!  I know I still have a lot to learn, but it was pretty humbling to try to get shots of the moon.  And it was frustrating because the clouds would part and I'd have a minute or so to fool around with my settings and snap away.  And my hands were freezing and finally I went inside to get a flashlight so I could actually look at my camera while I was trying to figure it out in this new way.  I don't know how many pictures I took.  This one is overexposed, but I thought it still looked pretty cool.



Then I switched my white balance and took my flash exposure comp all the way down to -5!  I got one picture before the clouds overtook the moon:

The clouds never gave way again.  So the next night I wanted to try it one more time with what I learned.  I went out to the corner of my property because the trees were in the way, but then the horse across the street was totally freaked out by all my little beeping noises.  I thought she was going to jump over the fence and trample me.  So I went to the other end of my property as far away as I could get from her and took some more pix.  I'm not sure how I could have made them better, but I'm sure I could have some how.



When I got them on my computer, I noticed that I took a series of shots without moving the tripod in under a minute and it was crazy how much the moon traveled in that short amount of time.  So I did a multiple exposure of them in Picasa:



And when my son saw that, he told me I had to blog about it.  (Which I thought was funny for a 9 year old to say.) 

I love a good full moon.

some good moments over the past couple weeks

When the snow melted enough that I could see life emerging.  Hello, spring.  (Thank the heavens.)



This smile.

Her verbal expression is constantly amazing me.  She just turned two and she is expressing herself so well that it makes me laugh every day. 

For example, the other day she told me she wanted to eat, so I grabbed some leftover macaroni from the fridge and I leaned down and showed it to her and said, "Okay, here's some macaroni.  Does this look good to you?"  She grabbed a noodle and stuck it in her mouth and went, "mmm.  I yike it."  (her L's sound like yyyyy's (or ll's in spanish;)).  I said, "All right, let me spoon it into a bowl and I'll warm it up for you."  And as she climbed onto a chair at the table , with every word anunciated and perfectly spaced out, she said, "No, I yike it yike that.  I want to eat it cold."

wwhhhaaaa?  How old are you?  I just laughed and let her eat it cold.

The other day in the car, the girls were grumpy, and I often sing to them and it seems to help. So I was musing to myself, "Hmmmmm.  What should I siiiiiiinnnnng..."  and she says, "a want aaa aaah flowers are naughty."  Which I understood perfectly.  She wanted me to sing In the Leafy Treetops.  Here are the lyrics:

In the leafy treetops the birds sing good morning.
They're first to see the sun, they must tell everyone.
In the leafy treetops the birds sing good morning.


In my pretty garden the flowers are nodding.
"How do you do," they say, "how do you do today."
In my pretty garden the flowers are nodding.

Those naughty flowers. They should know better.



Don't think me horrible, but when the last two went down with this stomach bug, I was relieved that the end was in sight.  That was a long, hard and horrible thing.  I am grateful for good health.



I never tire of the beauty of nature.


That little munchkin dragged that huge chair over there.  That cupboard has vitamins (which she loves!) and other things that I don't want her to reach.  (Like marshmellows.)  I am running out of places that these two year olds can't get to.



Morning light.



Yesterday, #4 started crying uncontrolably and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.  I was getting annoyed when my boy said, "I think she's scared of Al Capone!"

Then came the series of questions: Are you scared?  Does that guy scare you?  You don't like Al Capone?

Her reply:  That guy scares me.  I don't yike him.



My boy has been working on a school project about Al Capone.  He has been doing lots of research and made an Al Capone from a hot chocolate can.  (Index cards with facts about Al go inside.)

This was serious business.  She didn't want anyone touching her baby dolls while she fed them.



Can you tell how much I love instagram?  It's like the perfect visual journal for me.  I always have my beloved iphone around and can just snap a picture.  I also got a cute video of this little snack time--I put it on youtube so I could show you:

Here's to a good week!

xo
Britt

pure & true

pure & true: original mixed media on canvas board 12x16 (sold)
prints available in my shop (soooooon).

I'm just over here staying super-duper busy! 

Just wanted to say hello.

& happy spring!

Let's talk about ADD

From the perspective of a girl with ADD/I. (Inattentive, not hyperactive. Prone to daydreaming, not taking over the show.)

*For the farmers out there: I am not a doctor, these are just my thoughts. (The hunters knew that instinctively and that was good enough for them.) (You’ll get that after you read this post, of course.)


I have ADD. Sometimes I feel the need to explain myself. You know, if somebody gives me that look and I get that feeling that maybe they think I’m a little off.

I’m happy to be content in my own world, doing things my own way. When something inspires me, it’s all I want to do. They say Attention Deficit, but really my attention is only deficient in areas that don’t spark my interest.  But the good news is that I have noticed that as I get older, I’m interested in a LOT more than I used to be. Maybe line upon line?

I have ADD and I have kids with ADD. One time my pediatrician gave me the parable of the farmer vs. the hunter. I will relay it to you here in my own words:



Long ago, there were two ways a man could provide food for his family.


One way was to become a farmer. A farmer takes pride in his crop. He knows what seeds he will plant and plans ahead for the next year. He prepares his soil. He readies his fields. On the right day, he starts sowing and his seeds are set in long, straight lines. He works with intent and follows his plan closely as he waters his crop every day. Watching the crop grow and stretch toward the sun is satisfying and rewarding and he finds beauty in the harvest of his symmetrical creation.


The other way a man can provide food for his family is to become a hunter. When a hunter is ready, he makes his way to the woods and acts on instinct. There is no exact routine to follow, so he takes his cues from the things he sees and feels around him. He uses his senses and his intuition. He understands the way the animals move and what drives them. He watches for their tracks and finds food and water sources. He knows when he is getting closer and the exhilaration of all things coming together feels right. The reward of meat to feed his family is satisfying and his love and appreciation for nature move him.


Both are right. Neither is wrong.

Perhaps a farmer would get frustrated not to have a plan. It might make him uncomfortable. Maybe he would worry that if he hasn’t planned ahead then he isn’t being responsible and if there isn’t a plan, then how can his family rely on him to provide? It would cause anxiety and be unsettling to live life on a whim.


Most likely a hunter would feel weighed down by a sense of monotony at having to abide by the strict guidelines of the farmer’s life. There would be an underlying restlessness because he is not relying on his instinct. There is nothing to inspire his spirit in straight lines and no surprises. Watering the same plot of land every day with nothing varying might feel oppressive and unnatural.


I tell my children that there is nothing wrong with them. Their brains are perfect. They are smart. They are just trying to fit into something that doesn’t come naturally to them. They are hunters living in a farmer’s society.

It can be harsh and depressing. It can make you wonder what is wrong with you—everyone else seems content and thriving. So why does it feel so incredibly difficult to adhere to a strict schedule of school and learning, a place where rules and regulations take precedence over inspiration and intuition? Because it is not natural for everyone to live like that.

Sometimes, while living in a farmer’s society, I behave like a hunter. When I get that look I want to say, “Hey, I’m a hunter, okay?” But instead I say apologetically, “I have ADD.”


Since starting my blog way back when, I have been open about my experience with ADD. In the past couple years I have had a surprising amount of people email/call/comment/etc to ask me questions about it and see if they can help themselves or understand someone they love a little better. I have a lot to say about it! So as requested, here is the first of a series of posts from my perspective. Every body is different, so my experience won’t be everyone’s experience, but I guess it’s my attempt to kick the stereotypes of ADD out the door and help the good peeps be a little more understanding of those of us that endure its daily battles. If you have any specific questions that you would like to hear my perspective on, feel free to leave them in the comments or email me—I’d be happy to oblige.

xoBritt

light.er

It’s the greyest and rainiest day. And I feel great. I am standing in the middle of such an enormous mess. I am dirty and I need a shower.




But, by golly, wouldn’t you know it? (I don’t ever remember saying “by golly” but it seems that today it fits.) It’s the first day that I feel clear in so long! I feel hopeful and even though I have a lot of work to do, all the sudden I feel capable of doing it.



When I feel blue I get quiet because I don’t want to be that downer kind of girl. The complainer. Because I know things are supposed to be fine. I know I am blessed and there is no reason to feel so badly.



I’ve had people tell me that I blame my ADD for things that I shouldn’t. That I lean on it a little or make it into an excuse.



Now I’m realizing that the people who have made that assumption don’t have ADD.



I’m not trying to say that every time I’m down it’s because of my neurons misfiring; I’ve had a lot that I’ve been dealing with lately. Stuff that I’ve wanted to share here but can’t for whatever reason. One big reason is because literally EVERY time I sit down at the computer, when I return my awareness to my surroundings, something has been trashed. My folded laundry has been thrown about; the toilet water has somehow found itself covering the bathroom floor, rug and my babies’ clothes; the food pantry has been invaded and its contents been trod upon; someone has started screaming for whatever reason; I have to break up a fight; the cat food has been dumped out; the kitty litter has been scooped by a two-year-old (yikes!!!); you.name.it.



Even right now. I have left the computer while typing this at least a dozen times.



It’s simply exhausting.



You might be thinking, Brittany, why do you have five children? That is a good question to which I don’t have a cut and dry answer, and I’m simply not willing to go there. I am accepting that as part of my plan; part of how my life is supposed to be, and I’m ready to figure it all out in the middle of chaos.



Moving on. I was just considering why I feel better today and I think there are several reasons.



I’ve been sick and I feel a lot better today. Tired, but much better. (Someone unplugged the monitor so I have no idea if the babies woke up crying in the night and I am grateful that no one was vomiting their guts out like the previous night because I would have had no idea. I realized at about 7:00 that that fuzz I was hearing was just plain fuzz, not the fan in the babies’ room.)



Another reason: a while back my doc cut my ADD meds in half because my blood pressure went up. All is balanced and today I went back on the full dose. Just knowing that I was going back on the full dose lifted my spirits! Just the knowledge that I wouldn’t be completely overwhelmed for my entire day was such a relief!



That’s when I realized that if there is judgment from well-meaning lovely people, it is simply because they don’t understand the constant never ending battle of ADD. I am well aware of the bad rap that ADD gets and I wish I could wad it all up like a piece of trash and throw it in the garbage. Kick it to the curb.



I think I’ve babbled enough for today. All I meant to say is that I feel lighter. I feel hopeful.

And that feels good.

remorse

A couple weeks ago I woke up thinking about a man who I love. He made such a positive impact on my life. He guided me through a time in my life when I was limp and directionless and angry. He gave me counsel and it was good counsel.



He saw me.



He saw what I needed and gave it to me without any expectations.

I couldn’t get him out of my head. I was going to see his daughter at church and I would tell her what an impact he had made on my life and what a powerful example he is to me. I would tell her how much I love him. I would ask how he is doing.

Church came and went and I was so wrapped up in my mommy duties that it never happened.

Over the next week he popped into my head over and over. I thought about his huge hands and how he is like my personal giant. I made my children shake his hand and notice how tiny their hands seemed compared to his. I thought about his consuming hugs that were enveloping and safe. One time after one of his hugs, I saw Jake later in the day and he knew exactly who I had been hugged by because his smell lingered on me. We both giggled and talked about him affectionately.

Another week came and went and I didn’t get in touch with him or his family.

Yesterday I found out that he had died suddenly.

I am so heartbroken. I can’t stop thinking of his beautiful family and wishing I could offer some kind of comfort.

I am so sad that I never acted on my promptings.

It may sound heartless to some, but in times of death I am usually saddened, but I also feel such peace and happiness because of my belief that they are in a place of progression and joy. I have always found it easy to move past the sadness into a kind of celebration for their life.

But right now, I feel undone and ashamed. I feel such painful regret that I didn’t let him know that I saw him, too. I let him down.

restyled and upcycled gifties

One of my oldest, dearest friends became a mom again.  She and her hubs adopted a son and I am so thrilled for her and her little family.  As the time was getting nearer, I started making things for her little guy.



Don't you love how when you are making something for someone you love, they are in your thoughts the whole time you are working?  It was almost like the old days when we actually lived close to each other.

I made her some of my favorite things.  The best burp cloths ever.


I recieved a bunch of these before I had the twins and they were astounding!  I'll do a post with a tutorial--super duper simple, but how I loved them.



The back of this little quilt is an XL shirt that was free and didn't fit anyone.  Really, I just didn't want to drag the kids to the fabric store.  (That's how I get a lot of creative ideas: from being overwhelmed/lazy:  how can I get what I want without leaving the house?  Then I scavenge. ) I like how you can tell it's a shirt on the back of the quilt, how fun is that.  (Can you tell I'm a crappy seamstress from these pictures?  But I don't let that stop me.  No, because quilts are used to stay warm or keep a baby off the floor, so who cares if the seams are straight?  Not me.)

I did a onsie like the ones here because you can never have enough onsies.  And hats.  Hats are just cute.  Although I found out that these hats are to darn big for the tiny little guy. 

That brown one is upcycled/restyled from an old sweater.  I googled how to do it and I could not believe how simple it was.  The hardest part was the first cut of the sweater.  Does that happen to you?  That hesitation...am I SURE I won't wear this again?  What if I mess it up? JUST CUT IT ALREADY! 

Speaking of restyle, I thought I'd post a picture of this crazy little number:



Hey, I'm not complaining.  I love a girl who's not afraid of a little color (or a lot of color).  We get spoiled rotten with the best hand-me-downs.  She had several cute striped long-sleeved shirts that she never wore and I couldn't figure out why.  So I added some yummies and they became her favorites!  I used old clothes and fabric scraps and made a simple fox. 



Much bettah.  Isn't it freeing when your clothes help express who you are?

I think she likes it;)

I love my instagram app

me and my littlest girl in the snow

There is always a lot going on around here.  But now it's March.  And  I'm starting to remember that every March I start to come alive again out of my winter's hibernation.

I realize that I've been a stranger around here, so I'm going to post a bunch of pictures from the past week or so. They are from my instagram app (which I deleted the first time I downloaded it, but now I see the vision;).


Reading to two of her little sisters before bed


The light is changing: the sun was going down way to the left of this window and behind a big pine tree that blocked its light.  But now it has shifted and that time of day stirs something inside me.  Something good.  I notice it every spring and get so excited that the days are getting longer.


fresh tastes good


nest: a place of retreat , rest, or lodging      ...it's true, that spot feels like that.

Watercolor painting.  It's the last craze.  That hair really is pink.  Just for fun.


waiting for the bus